I’ve had former partners send barrages of vicious messages to me. I’ve had them calling my friends, colleagues and peers to whine about how much of a ‘total POS’ I am. I’ve had social media influencers send their sassy hit squads after me, through relentless whispering campaigns. I’ve had anonymous messages, diatribes, and angry walls of texts in my inbox, that I never even read. I’ve been beaten up at school, slapped by women, and endlessly mocked. I’ve been locked in supply rooms by teachers. I’ve spent hours on the phone being berated about ‘not understanding’, or ‘not listening’, when I am desperately trying to do so. I’ve seen the script flipped, to be blamed for the very things that person is doing to me. I even had one particularly thin skinned ex write a song about me, and perform it to tens of thousands of her followers. And when my spine had recovered from the critical levels of cringe I endured, I soon wondered: at what point does such a pattern of behavior constitute abuse? I’ve seen friends humiliated and ground down by partners. And I’ve seen others neglected. I’ve seen children spanked and screamed at by their parents, I’ve seen the youthful sparkle in the eyes of others extinguished. I’ve seen private text messages leaked. I’ve seen so many things that fall outside of the archetypal bruises and broken bones of #domesticabuse, it makes me want to ask – what do you think is abusive, but which is not widely recognised as so? #domesticviolence #domesticviolenceawareness #psychologicalabuse

2023-07-17