There are few subjects more controversial than male victims of abuse, particularly those at the hands of women. Similarly, there are few subjects more riddled with mistruths, misleading catch phrases, exclusionary language, propaganda, and downright lies, than domestic violence, and few industries more corrupted by ideological dogma too. It is, in my view, an area we will look back at in ten years time, with utter shame, as we realise the scope and scale of our failure, and at the lives, both male and female, destroyed and lost as a consequence. Despite our best efforts to deny the truth, there are quite literally hundreds, if not thousands of studies and surveys that reveal the reality – the ugly reality – that women in relationships are no less violent than men, and that abused men are equally deserving of support, shelter, and a voice too. Murray Straus, the founder of the field of family violence research compiled more than 200 papers showing this gender parity in partner abuse. Sarah Desmarais provided hundreds more. Martin Fibert added 270 to the pile, with an aggregate sample of 440,000 people. Erin Pizzey, who pioneered the movement; opening the first shelter for abused women in the world, and writing the first book on domestic violence; has spent half a century insisting women are just as violent in relationships as men. The PASK, the world’s largest database of domestic violence research, compiled 1,700 papers, and found the same. So you cannot accuse those like me of ‘cherry picking’, as I’ve given you the entire damn orchard, and it all says the same – that women can indeed do anything a man can, and yes, that includes partner violence too. The issue is not about finding the truth, as we clearly have it; the issue is, how and why has it been hidden from us for so long? Well, Straus and his colleagues have given us answers to this too – showing how data is manipulated, erased, and obfuscated; and researchers defunded, harassed, and threatened, so we can maintain the ugly lie that has destroyed the lives of so many. So what is the truth; why is it hidden, and for how much longer will we allow it? What do you think?

2025-05-05