Be it body hair, women’s lack of pockets, or films that are too long – there’s no shortage of things to pick up and beat men over the head with. Brexit, climate change, COVID 19 deaths, the financial crisis, racism, homophobia, or even ‘the weaponisation of women’s hair’; the patriarchy and its little brother, ‘toxic masculinity’ are up to no good, yet again. And it’s everywhere. It’s in the cities. It’s in the streets. It’s in oceans, down the valleys and in trees above. It’s in your breakfast cereal. It’s hiding under your bed. It’s making you late for work and leaving the milk out. God damn patriarchy. It’s fucking things up, for everyone, everywhere and quite literally, for all of time. But whilst angry social justice warriors shake their fists at the sky and shout at clouds, the rest of us look puzzled as to what the hell they’re all yelling about. Beards? Patriarchy. Bacon sandwiches? Patriarchy. Not recycling your plastic bottle? Patriarchy. The absurdity and fragility knows no bounds. Luckily, some things are just too stupid to be offensive, and thankfully many of these things are exactly that. And whilst I take no offence from the silliness of these articles, I must admit I may have lost braincells reading them, whilst the full body cringe has left me pretzel like and exhausted. So tell me, what has the patriarchy done to you? ~ Image by Christopher Burns, Gradienta and Geronimo Giqueaux from Unsplash.

2023-03-02