Calls for men and boys to talk and cry are a welcome show of kindness, that we should all be supportive of. Thankfully, over the last few years, we have seen a much needed (and long overdue) reframing of male emotions; which increasingly allows men and boys to express their sadness, distress, or pain, in whatever way they feel most comfortable. But as society slowly loosens its stranglehold on male emotions, I want to remind us all that these kind words and niceties, are not enough. The work has just begun. Telling men ‘it’s okay to cry’, and expecting them to immediately open the emotional flood gates, fails to take into account the lifetime of cultural conditioning that has beleaguered them. Generation, after generation, has handed down the same antiquated models of maleness. Men and boys have marinated in it for hundreds of years, for their entire lives; and a few tweets, hearty pats on the back, and a billboard or two, will not undo what has been done. Harmful societal expectations and attitudes, which have hung around the necks of men and boys will take time to wear down and remove. And it is something we all need to help them unpack. The same can be said for the well meaning, ‘men can talk’. Yes we can, and perhaps we already are in ways society is not really listening to? Or maybe, like it is for anyone, the words of emotional eloquence will take time to learn? Perhaps asking men to talk about their feelings, is much like asking a non-french speaker to suddenly spring into French prose, and to wield the language as if it were their own, without the time and effort it takes to learn it. Mais malheureusement ça ne marche pas comme ça. So who will take the time and care to help men and boys? Who will show them how to talk, and where their tears might be found? Ask yourself, who will put in the effort? What do you think? ~ Images by Victoria Museum, Alexander Krivitzsky, Karsten Wingeart, Australian National Library, Everyday matters, Gradienta, and Ravi Availa. #mensmentalhealth #suicideawarness #malesuicideawareness #mencantalk #mencancry

2023-11-06