Guys, how many times have you built up the courage to talk to your girlfriend, wife, or partner about something she’s done that’s upset you; only for her to get more upset, to start crying, and for you to then apologise to her? Several times in my life I’ve found myself consoling a girlfriend, apologising even, for things she did wrong to *me*. “Im sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m okay really. I didn’t mean it. Please, stop crying, I’m fine.” Yup. Intentional or not – the reality is – whoever cries wins. As a man you quickly learn that whoever’s pain is most visible, usually wins the lion’s share of compassion. The one sobbing garners most support; whilst the broken hearted, yet dry eyed man, stands alone. Many times I have been the innocent party, but because the woman who wronged me started crying, I immediately became the villain. “But she – “ “QUIET GEORGE! GO AWAY!” Have you found this too? I do not hold any ill will to tears. They are a wonderful, and healthy outpouring of pain; often cathartic and cleansing, and something many men wish they had access to. But they also hold great power to sway a situation, to win over the crowd, and sometimes do so… unfairly. I get it. We all want to console those in tears. But is there any reason to assume those not crying, are feeling any less pain? Are dry eyes any less valid? Feelings are, after all, on the inside, and not what’s rolling down your face. So is it time we gave more emotional space to men, and showed more understanding of their more subtle forms of expressing pain? Is it time we looked behind the dry eyed, poker faced man? Is it time we validated men’s emotions for what they are, rather than what we believe they ought to be? ~ Source Images Robbie Down, Joe Gardner, Ryan Snaardt, Eric Lucatero, Karabo Mdluli, and Dan Since.

2023-10-20