I’ve been in this space long enough to see what happens to the good people who attempt to help men and boys. I’ve seen the harassment, insults, and yelling they endure; the pressure of silent expectations, and unease they’re placed under. The sly slathering of character assassinations, personal attacks, and false accusations. I’ve seen what happens when men’s groups are approved on the condition they only speak about a certain set of things, namely how ‘problematic’ men are, and what can be done to exorcise them of their toxicity. I’ve seen it all. ‘It’s so great that the next James Bond is going to be a woman’, said an old friend, who had never watched James Bond, had no interest in seeing the next one, and still hasn’t. I’ve seen shelters for male abuse victims fold for lack of funding. I’ve seen people chain themselves to entrances of men’s events, film screenings, and talk groups, until they’re cancelled. I’ve seen angry online mobs bring down men’s society’s at several major Universities, before they’ve even held a single event. I’ve seen many give in and give up, relenting under pressure. I’ve seen others keep going, their popularity sacrificed upon the cruel altar of social media. And I’ve seen men left with no where to go, as a consequence. We scratch our heads and ask why suicide is so prevalent within men, and then get high on shaming the very societies that might have saved them. I’ve seen the most fragile, narcissistic whines, spat from the mouths of the most entitled assholes I’ve ever seen; each one determined to deprive men and boys of life-saving spaces. I’ve experienced it myself, more times than I could tell you about. And yet, still, again and again, I hear the same smug ‘why don’t men set up their own spaces?’ Spoken by the same person who chained themselves to the doors, and who set off the fire alarms, stoked fear, and harassed student unions, so as to close down the very spaces they ask about. It is gaslighting. It is radical extremism. And in some cases, I think it’s domestic t*rrorism. So, why don’t men set up their own spaces? Well, in my view, it’s a surprise they bother at all. What do you think? ~

2024-09-23