In the area of partner violence, if you ever bring up the unwelcome subject of violent women, you will inevitably run into the justification of ‘but it’s self defence!’ You see, when men are violent, they are using their individual agency, exacting ‘power and control’ unilaterally onto their female partners, as part of a wider narrative of men’s ‘patriarchal violence’ onto women. Meanwhile – The other side of the coin, women’s violence, is merely their attempts to protect themselves from such oppressive actions. As Hilla Lerner of the Canadian R*pe Relief charity claims, violence by such women is “a desperate attempt to defend themselves and their children.” Whilst, intuitively, that feels right, and is indeed true a lot of the time; what is to be said about the remaining acts of violence by women, that are not ‘self defence’? What about the consequent ‘self defence’ from men, to defend themselves from this female-instigated violence? What about bilateral abuse, when both parters are ‘defending’ themselves? And is the concept of ‘self defence’ too blurry, and subjective of a phenomenon altogether? Whatever you opinion, or experience, we can all agree there is more to be said about women’s use of partner violence than: “It’s just self defence!” And insistence of such a singular, infantilising idea, only serves to dilute women down to diminished, disempowered versions of themselves, without agency, unable to make autonomous decisions. So what’s missing from the conversation of partner violence by women? And is it really just “self defence”? ~ Images by Sandy Sussengut, Claudia Soraya, Ramez E Nassif and Ravi Roshan. Straus  Stith Dutton 

2025-01-06