There was so little light between her index finger and thumb. Just a tiny slither. ‘Yes George, but the number of abused men is infinitesimally small!!’ I had never heard that word before. But her podgy, quivering fingers clamped together in a ‘this small’ gesture 🤏, mere inches from my face, taught me what I needed to know. I was stunned. During my adult life, I had learnt that it was not the place of men to lead the conversation, nor speak for female victims of sexual violence. It was our time to listen, as I dutifully did. And yet, right now, having the experiences of vulnerable men being scoffed at, spat upon, and minimised by a group of tipsy women, I realised the opposite arrangement had become perfectly acceptable. At the time, I was not as familiar with the shocking numbers around which she was boasting knowledge. But I was confident the true amount of men who are sexually abused, was certainly not ‘Infinitesimally small’. I wondered, if this same women who spoke so confidently and hatefully of abused men, would dare to look in the mirror, to see the face of the men who have historically done the same to abused women, looking back at her? For if she looks closely, I’m sure she’ll see the reflection of her own worst enemy. And I agree - it can easily be argued that all victims of sexual violence have been failed by the system. A failure of protection, a failure of justice, and a failure of awareness. Right across the board, ‘the work’ has been lacklustre, underfunded, and performative. But whilst female victims face their own betrayals; male victims of female sexual violence have been left in the shadows of advocacy, of understanding, and deep in the doldrums of psychological literature. So let’s fix that. Let’s talk and listen to male victims of female predators, the hidden hidden victims of sexual violence. ~ Study Images by Florian Crumb, Brooke Caggle, Andrew Staple, Luke Thornton, and Gradienta. #malesuicideawareness #malesurvivors #sexualviolenceawareness #sexualviolence

2024-01-03