“Toxic masculinity”, “male violence”, “male rage”, “the patriarchy”, “male entitlement”, “mansplaining”, “male privilege”, “the manosphere”, “manteruption’, “man keeping”, “male fragility”, “man spreading”; the gendering of the male sex to anything and everything bad is an effective, albeit cartoonish tool of politics. Knees too far apart, or a man speaking too loud? No problem. Find a behavior you don’t like, suffix the word “man” or “male” to it, slap it online, and watch the effervescent social media pity-party serenade you with the validation and “yas kween” affirmations you’ve been crying out for. And yes, fine. It’s true – men commit 79% of violent crimes. Do with it what you will; treat men like bears (or worse), clutch your pearls, live in fear, wheel out your tiresome, dehumanizing thought experiments where men are compared to snakes, ticks, sharks, rabid dogs, poisoned M&Ms or human sh*t rolled in chocolate. But never forget, there is something that men perform at rates far higher than that ’79% of violent crime’. Acts which, no matter how heroic, or self sacrificing, are never gendered, suffixed, or neologised… And that is: men perform around 92% of bystander rescues. That’s according to the Carnegie Award, who for 100+ years have given out 10,000 awards to heroic acts, and the vast majority, despite their intentions, go to men. They’re kicking down your door and hauling you to safety. They’re climbing the walls, to drag you from the fire. They’re putting themselves in harms way to protect you from danger; they’re diving from bridges and clifftops, into stormy waters. They’re fighting in ditches, on mountains, in fields, and cities, laying down their lives by the million for your freedom. Mining deep beneath the ground, or building high above your heads; riding the treacherous seas to feed, shelter, and house you, to power and connect your world, so you can tweet out that sassy whine to humiliate them. Men. So why do we only gender the bad things that men do, and so rarely the good? Why do we talk of “male violence”, but never “male heroism”? What do you think? ~

2025-08-01