If there is a topic more emotionally resonant than intimate partner homicide, then I am yet to find it. I understand that domestic violence is something so many people feel passionately about, and rightly so. So too it is an extraordinarily complex issue, that remains tangled in a web of social, economic and structural factors. And yet, whenever I see it spoken about, particularly on social media, the narrative is always the same. Narrow. One sided. And dogmatic. All I hear is - (a) Men do it. (b) It is the visualisation of men’s need for patriarchal power and control. And (c) it overwhelmingly impacts women. You won’t need to go far to hear the typical ‘nearly three American women every day are killed by a partner or former parter’ soundbite. And whilst that is tragically true, it is not the complete truth, and far from it. Did you know that around 30% of intimate partner homicides are against men? Did you know that the number one cause of death in abusive relationships is suicide, not homicide? Did you know that if you include all domestic violence related deaths, more men lose their lives than women? These startling facts. And they are just a tiny corner of the full picture which nobody is talking about. Why not? If we are serious about ending domestic violence, ought we do better than chucking memes around, and splattering the opposite sex with mindless muddy vitriol? Can we do better than dogmatic gender based ideology? Surely, if there’s one place that deserves grown up, forward thinking, evidence based, and constructive discussion, it is this one. So can we do that today? ~ [1] [2] [3]  Images by Ylona Maria, Vidar Nordli Mathisen, Tadeusz Lakota, Caden Bern, Kiwi Hug, Mediocre Studio, Jon Tyson, and Black Kiwi Hug from Unsplash #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #mensmentalhealth #malesurvivors

2023-03-23