Men are less likely to report their abuse to the police, and if they do, the police are less likely to record it as ‘abuse’ (particularly male officers).

And if they do, it’s less likely to lead to a charge, and if it does, it’s less likely to lead to a prosecution, and even then, it’s less likely to lead to a guilty verdict.

All of these biases filter abused men out of criminal stats (which is how ’90% of people prosecuted for abuse are male’).

But before all of this happens, something else shapes the landscape against men, before the they are failed by the judicial system, or the police, or even before they ask for help.

And that is –

Men are less likely to even recognise abusive behaviour as ‘abuse’; and instead call it ‘one of those days’, or ‘shes a bit wild’, or ‘a crazy ex’, or ‘just very passionate’, or even ‘happy wife, happy life’…

So with that in mind, I ask the men: what did you think was ‘normal’ behaviour in a relationship, before you realised it was abuse?

What do you think?

2026-09-02