‘Educate your boys’, is a slogan I only see in the context of ‘deprogramming’ sex-addled teenage boys, and never as a call to educate such boys on the dangers of being sexually assaulted themselves. For boys, much like men, are only ever the perpetrator, never the victims, and only deserving of condemnation, and never protection. Like men, boys too receive a double helping of blame, and shame, and rarely an ounce of compassion for their wellbeing; never a thought spared for his unique vulnerability, a hesitation spent for where he’s going at night, or consideration for the predators that might target him. Our narratives of sexual violence paint a sensational picture, one of the village weirdo, the local loner, or creepy old man at the park. Yes, this sells newspapers, but these stereotypes fail to acknowledge female predators, and marginalise and silence the very victims we endeavour to protect - children. Again and again we see young, attractive female teachers caught coercing and sexually abusing boys, and people rarely say a thing. Instead, worse than nothing: they imply that a boy who is r*ped by an attractive young woman is ‘lucky’. ‘Saucy cougar seduces teen boy, and enters into a taboo sexual relationship!’ You might read. Very different to the ‘p*dophile grooms and r*pes a girl’, which we’d rightly expect to read, were the roles reversed. The comments are different too. So often a cacophony of stupid, ignorant men arrive, commenting ‘I wish it was me’, as if they themselves are missing out on being coerced and abused by a p*dophile. Society may think such boys are ‘lucky’ or unharmed by such a thing – until you see the data showing that boys who have been sexually assaulted in adolescence have a suicide rate TEN TIMES HIGHER than those who haven’t. Well… maybe he’s not so ‘lucky’ after all. So why do we only ‘educate our boys’ but never ourselves? Why do we ‘educate our boys’ about being predators, but never open their eyes to how they are vulnerable too? Is it time to ‘educate our boys’ on the full picture of sexual violence? What do you think? ~ Images by Jason Leung, Jesus Rodriguez, Katelyn Perry #mensmentalhealth

2024-05-03