Life as a man is often a daily set of reminders of all the truly terrible things men around the world have done, and why, somehow, it is your fault too. ‘Male violence’, ‘male oppression’, ‘male privilege’, ‘male brutality’, ‘toxic masculinity’… It goes on and on. A relentless rolodex of reckless behaviour and insufferable suffixes; each depicting violence and tyranny, by the cold, mechanical hands of a monolithic oppressor class of ‘men’. That’s right. Men are the ones who we blame for everything, everywhere, for everyone, and for literally, all of time. Honestly, it feels like a day can barely go by, without some kind of finger wagging, or fist shaking at men; as they are yet again strung out and shamed, for actions they never played a part of, and are appalled by. ‘Toxic masculinity’ reads the headline, followed by some horrific news story, and an explanation of why this is not a fringe incident, but in fact, is a hallmark of male behaviour. So why do we only seem to judge men by the very worst things they do? …doesn’t this go both ways? Yes, most acts of criminality are by ‘men’. But then, so are most bystander rescues. Yes, most t*rrorists are male, but then, so are those putting their lives on the line to stop such people. It’s true. It usually is men who set the fire, but it is also true, that it’s usually men who will kick down the door and haul you to safety. Look at the police line up… it’s usually men behind the one way mirror. But when there’s a flood, fire, earthquake, or hurricane… Who are the ones wading into the river, scaling the buildings, or running into the flames? Also men. So, if we as men are going to be blamed for the bad actions of men, then why not give us credit for the good too? Why are we so eager to label so many disparate negative male behaviours as ‘toxic’, yet reluctant to attribute any of the good ones, in the same way? Is our obsession with magnifying the bad things men do, whilst minimising the good, leading to a systemically, overly-negative view of men and masculinity that harms us all? So what about the good of men? What do you think?

2024-07-22