To have a small army of adults hypothecate over my sex life is, to say the least, highly unusual. “Hahaha! Okay virgin!” You know, it’s been many, many years since I’ve been in this position. My last experience likely being some kind of generic school boy taunting in the toilets, a sign cello-taped to my backpack, or perhaps a crass comment yelled at me from a bus window. “I bet you’ve never been laid!” It’s to be expected I suppose; from pouty knuckle-dragging teenagers, muddling their way through pubescence. But I don’t expect the same brand of silliness from a bunch of virtuous twenty-something year old adults. The professional Instagramer, the so-called social media acolyte, the great tassel twirling guardian of morality, or the valiant patriarchy-busting male feminist; each taking time out of their busy schedule of outrage, to come and regurgitate the same tired insults I literally heard when I was 15. So whilst I am touched that my sex life is of so much importance, to so many people, I'd rather use this opportunity to explore the achingly ironic, face-slappingly-stupid parallels between ‘Incel’ and ‘Sl*t’.’ 'Sl*t’, which derides women for having too much sex, and ‘Incel’ which derides men for not having enough, both of which operate upon the same harmful sex based value system. It’s bizarre. ‘Incel’ was once a useful self-identifying term, used by a very specific group of men, but has now been appropriated by a bunch of sassy internet brats to describe; conservatives, MRAs, lonely, depressed or conventionally unattractive men, Johnny Depp fans, gamers, those living at home, autistic men, poor men and the unemployed. All of them I’ve now seen brandished, with similar enquiries launched into their sex lives too. And I’m bored of it. Bored of waiting for the dull light of hypocrisy to turn on, and for the gears to finally click. Waiting, patiently, for those who paint themselves as some kind of messianic saviour, to finally realise, they’re actually just a different kind of problem. So what do you think? Is it time we stop using 'incel' as an insult? ~ Images by Dan Cristian Padure, Gradienta, Darius Bashar. Scribble by Alice Noir

2023-01-24