Are You An Asshole?

January 30, 2022

The challenge this page faces, is not just in discussing and finding solutions to the complex social issues that many men face, but also in overcoming the tiny and annoying army of assholes who stand in the way of useful conversation.

They are the ones who call men “toxic”.

Or who deny the true size and nature of male victimhood.

The ones who make blanket assertions of privilege, of patriarchy, and who make unsubstantiated, baseless claims.

Those who only know how to centre themselves, take away from discussion and who hijack debate, throwing around and diluting words like ‘misogyny’ for their own self interests.

The assholes.

I’ll be honest – I’ve gotten criticism for so liberally using this word, and for pointing the accusatory finger myself.

And as much as I accept this is a fair criticism that I should consider more, it’s also important for us to understand, that to get to the useful discussions around men and to find the solutions we all want – we must first overcome the ogre at the door, who cries and screams and swings its bludgeon of bigotry at anyone who challenges it.

We can agree that these people are writing their names in the history books, they are, but perhaps under a different chapter heading than they expect.

So I wonder, how long will it take for them to realise that they are the solution to *nothing*, they are just a different kind of problem.

And how do we defeat the ogre?

Source –

Professor Straus –
Professor Lara Stemple –
Stranger Violence ONS –

Illustration by Olena Panasovska from Unsplash


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