I often talk about what domestic violence is not. And first and foremost it is not a gendered issue. No, domestic abuse is not best described as men’s need for ‘patriarchal control over women’. As whilst ‘power and control’ is a factor, it is one of many factors, and is just as much a characteristic of female perpetrated abuse too. But if I am to try and lift domestic violence out of this antiquated feminist model, that has denied so many boys and men from help, then I must surely replace it with better, more inclusive and evidence based theories instead. It is not enough for me to say what domestic abuse is not, but I should also say, what it is… So where better to start than with, ‘the most prevalent and yet most ignored factor’ of all, according to Professor Murray Straus? I am taking about childhood experiences of spanking. Spanking, or corporal punishment in childhood, has been proven time and again to have a detrimental impact on that child’s wellbeing. It increases the chances of criminal, anti social and abusive behaviour later in life, it can slow cognitive development, and often fosters resentment between child and parent. It quite literally teaches a child to use violence as a means to get what they want. And yet, I’ve never seen spanking mentioned in a single anti domestic violence campaign. In fact, I’ve never seen it mentioned in any campaign at all. Spanking a child fundamentally contradicts our non-violence values in family and society. We know that hitting your partner to ‘correct’ perceived misbehaviour is abuse, but when we do this to children, most people seem to call it ‘parenting’? Why? Is it not better, and more effective, to teach reason, explanation and non-corporal punishment to children? Is it time we discussed the negative impacts of spanking, and its association with abusive behaviour later in life? And is it time we ended it once and for all? ~ Straus Study 01 Straus Study 02 Images by Black Kiwi Hug, Kiwi Hug, Gradienta and Marina Abrosimova from Unsplash. #donesticviolenceawareness #domesticabuse #parenting

2023-02-11