I arrived into this space three years ago, with a sense of naivety. I was simply blown away by all the things I never knew - boys behind in education… men dying on the streets… the staggeringly high rate of male suicide… the secret family court system. Most of all I was shocked by the data around domestic violence, which I too had formally been guilty of calling ‘a gendered issue’. I remember first reading the ‘1 in 3 victims of abuse is a man' ONS data with a look of bewilderment; walking around like a stunned child with my phone out, willing to show anyone who cared. This disbelief only magnified when I realised this ‘1 in 3’ was likely an underestimate. I didn’t believe it. Until I read more. And more, and more. I dived into the research, I called and spoke to the academics doing it. I spooled through hours of lectures. I checked the data, and studies across time, I double and triple checked the numbers. My mind was blown. I realised, as a professional in the creative industry; the problem with men and boys advocacy was not the lack of credibility, but rather the lack of brand appeal. So I got to work changing the way the data was presented… more colourful, more inclusive, more dynamic and original. I tried cold hard facts, I tried anecdotes, I made infographics and conducted interviews, I screengrabbed the data right from the source and shoved it in people’s faces. And… nothing. Nothing changed. So I was slapped across the face with another reality, of which I was equally naive. People won’t change their mind, despite mountains of research. Worse; I was labelled a liar, a misogynist, a grifter, or naive myself, I even had my sex life questioned, I got so many patronising pats on the shoulder and told, “you just don’t understand.” I was stunned. And despite some level of progress, I remain stunned. ‘How much data do you need to change your mind?’ I would ask, pointing to the mountain of data in front of us. People just shrugged. At first I found it funny, now I find it exasperating. “You just sound angry”, I often hear. Well no shit – finally a place we agree. Yes I am angry. The question is, why is nobody else?

2023-04-21