November 16, 2021

We all know that men are placed under considerable pressure to be high status, successful, wealthy and asset rich individuals.

And we know of its consequences - a dog eat dog rat race between men, that too often leads to unhealthy aggression, competition and relentless fights to the top, that are underpinned and exacerbated by emotional limitations and poor social nutrition.

These unrealistic ideas and narrow perspectives of masculinity hurt men.

As we have these conversations, I find a road of compassion, understanding and promise emerges.

But whenever we try to speak, words of ‘toxic masculinity’ and ‘patriarchy’ are often pushed into our mouths.

Men did this to themselves!

Who created these standards? Men!

These misogynistic view points seem to think women are incapable of anything, that women have no power to influence society, or shape gender norms; and if they do, they are surely done without autonomy, by those who are simply puppets dancing to the puppet master’s tune.

But women do contribute to shaping society in major ways, and whether intentional or not, they also help build the standards men are held too, defined on and hurt by.

The expectations of masculinity are sung by a chorus, not a solo, and we all have a place in the choir.

And sometimes these are quite literally sung – I mean have you ever heard a male artist singing about broke women ‘hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride’, who ‘can't get no love from me?

No me neither.

The problem is all of ours to help solve, the question is, how do we do it?

Dating Data – https://tinyurl.com/uwsdhx7b
Childhood Norms – https://tinyurl.com/y2robfu3
Prof Thomassin, Full Study – https://tinyurl.com/2d7k4akc

Illustrations by Bohdan Burmich of the Noun Project


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