Just because I’m not crying, doesn’t mean I’m not feeling the same as you.
A few times now I’ve had heated disagreements with people, who start tearing up as a result, and consequently draw the sympathy of the crowd around them.
They are quickly surrounded by friends and colleagues, whilst angry looks, shakes of the head and much tutting are fired in my direction.
Even when I was the one being wronged, I’m the bad guy - because I’m the one not crying.
Nobody would console me, or ask if I’m okay – yet I feel just as upset, angry, or hurt as they likely do, it’s just not coming out of my eyes.
I’ve even had to talk to women who I’ve dated about something they’ve done that’s upset me, and they’ll start crying – and I somehow end up apologising for upsetting them!?
This is hardly a foundation that encourages men like me to talk more.
These experiences have taught me, that not all emotions are expressed externally. In fact, sometimes, for some of us, none of them are.
And that’s okay.
That doesn’t make me toxic, or made of stone, it doesn’t mean that I, and others like myself, aren’t capable of the same emotional intelligence, pain and human empathy as anyone else.
I am human too, I just express myself differently.
So does anyone else have this problem?
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Images by Emile Seguin, Phil Desforges, Erik Lucatero and Mitchel Lensink.